Color Outside the Lines (A Look Back at 2014)

2014 was quite the year.

When I recently Google searched "2014 in review" (and recalled a few on my own), these were just a few of the highlights I found brought to you by 2014:
It was the year Taylor Swift left Nashville and country music to move to NYC and pop music (good move, TSwift, good move).
It was the year Barbara Walters retired.
It was the year Meghan Trainor and Ariana Grande performed on the CMA Awards.
It was the year a new generation was introduced to Cory and Topanga Matthews with the premiere of Girl Meets World.
It was the year Republicans gained control of both the Senate and the House of Representatives in Congress.
It was the year more people watched the World Cup than any other sporting event throughout the year.

All of these things have one thing in common - change. They're different than what went before them or from simply how things were before.

Change is not something in which I can enthusiastically say I'm a fan. Truth be told, and more often than I would like to admit, I'm one of the biggest fans of constant and everything-being-in-it's-place-and-not-moving you could probably ever meet. 2014 was a hard year in that it brought along a lot of changes in my personal life, too. Changes that I loved. Changes that I couldn't avoid no matter how hard I tried. Changes that ended up molding me into the person I am now and are parts of my journey I now would regret not ever experiencing.

My 2014, in review:
It was the year I applied for an internship that would disturb my picture perfect college experience I had planned since senior year of high school (I LOVE that it did too!).
It was the year I would be a part of co-leading a group of wonderful 9th grade girls at a D-Now weekend.
It was the year I would attend church camp as a chaperone.
It was the year I would live in Tennessee for a semester with people I barely knew.
It was the year I would travel to 5 states I had never visited with the best group of friends I had just met a month and a half before.
It was the year I would learn to be less picky of an eater and try so many new foods (and yes, I actually liked some of them).
It was the year I learned that it is possible to do school online, even while traveling across the country and my laptop crashing the week before a research paper was due.
It was the year I made one of the biggest decisions of my 20 year old life-to go back and intern with the same organization for the spring semester of my junior year, meaning my entire junior year of college would be spent online, away from campus.
It was the year I spent less time on my own college campus with my friends and more time on dozens of college campuses across the south making new friends.
It was the year I spent 2 holidays away from family for the first time ever.
It was the year I had to unexpectedly say goodbye to a dear friend.
It was a year of change.

Growing up, I was that kid that would throw away a picture I was coloring if I colored outside the lines. The mere thought of coloring outside the lines was not only foreign, but terrified me. How could something you spend so much time on not be perfect? To me, that couldn't happen. It was a change that wasn't necessary. It was a change I could prevent from happening.

Funny thing about 2014 is that God taught me to not only accept the idea of coloring outside the lines, but to embrace it. And do it.

Change is sometimes inevitable, just like how we sometimes get a little crazy with the Crayola and go just a tad bit outside the lines of our coloring book. Pre-2014 me would have FLIPPED. OUT. Post-2014 me would still flip out a little bit. But post-2014 me would also be okay with ripping that page out of the book when it's done and proudly hanging it up on the refrigerator. There have been so many days in the past month that I've been back at work and I've come home with pictures my kiddos have colored for me, and nearly every one of them have color outside the lines. And you know what? They're the most beautiful pictures I've ever seen. They're perfect (and definitely refrigerator worthy) in every way, despite the crayon going outside the line.

I never saw any of this coming this time last year, looking ahead at what 2014 may bring, but God knew exactly what He was up to with me in 2014. He knew this year would be one of change, a year of coloring outside the lines, and lots of it. And ya know, I'm thankful it was.

Some of the changes that came into my life, I'm still not a fan of, like having to say goodbye to my friend and her dad who passed away in a tragic car accident or not being able to spend as much time with my friends on campus. But because of those changes, I was able to see just how much those people mean to me and how God connected all of our paths and how He is in every single part of our relationships. Those pictures may be messy at first glance, but take a second look or look from afar, and they're beautiful masterpieces.

Some of the changes, I couldn't be more of a fan of, like visiting 5 states I've never been to before with an amazing group of people or returning to intern for an organization and cause that have captured my heart and helped me to find what God has called me to for the rest of my life. Those pictures can catch your eye from a mile away.

In the midst of all of this coloring, I've learned what it means to really trust the Lord. Not to just say that I trust Him, but to actually believe it. To actually believe that this mess of a picture I've colored for my life may be beautiful in my eyes, but without Him and His help, it's a mess. I can plan and have this 'perfect' plan in mind for how things will go or what my life will look like, but that means I'm trusting in myself more than I am trusting in Him. When that happens, I create a mess of a picture with coloring outside the lines everywhere, while God creates a masterpiece with His perfect plan. It may come with change from my original plans, but it is oh so much better and looks much more beautiful than I could ever imagine.

"The Lord says, 'My thoughts are not like your thoughts. Your ways are not like my ways. Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'" -Isaiah 55:8-9 NCV

I've begun to embrace coloring outside the lines, and doing it, throughout 2014, but I know God is going to continue teaching me to embrace it and to actually do it throughout the new year. I still cringe a little when I color outside the lines while coloring with my kiddos at work, but there's a beauty in that that can't be found anywhere else. Here's to discovering more and coloring outside the lines with God in 2015 while still embracing it in these last couple days of 2014!

Easter 2014 was spent at Flagler Beach/St. Augustine with my Phi Alpha Theta friends from CU!
A huge change from my normal Easter with my family, but a fun one for sure!

Less time on campus means less time with my friends, including these two.
While I hate not being around as much, I love surprising them and spending time with them
when I can, making those times MUCH sweeter!

Just two of the many new foods I've tried this year: rabbit and waffles. The verdict?
Rabbit, I can handle. The watermelon waffles, not so much. Makes for a pretty picture though!

I still ask God "Why?" a lot when I think about this sweet friend. While I only knew Ari for a few months, her friendship is something I'll always cherish. She passed away suddenly a couple weeks ago, and while this is a change I'm still not a fan of, and the picture seems to have a lot of coloring outside the lines, I rest and find peace in knowing 1. that she's rejoicing with Him in Heaven and 2. that this picture does look beautiful, just maybe from afar at the moment.

The Great Adventure!

Guys, I'll be honest. I've started, edited, deleted, and repeated that cycle with this blog post multiple times in the past couple of weeks. I've been wanting to really process everything that happened during my internship and try to write it out now that it's over, but that has been something I've been working on, and will be working on, for awhile.

You see, I was trying to hurry up and close that season of my life for good so that I could look ahead to the next season God has for me, the next promise that I know is coming. Truth is, that season is over. Red Bus Project fall 2014 is in the books.

On most levels.

The season of my life that is Red Bus Project fall 2014 may be closed in most ways, but it's still open in the sense that there is still SO much that I have yet to learn. Little by little, day by day, I look back and remember things that I hadn't remembered before. Each of those moments are full of new knowledge and perspective - they're teaching me about who God is, about who I was and have become, but how constant and there God was the entire time. Those moments, I pray, will continue to occur for days, months, and years to come.

While I'm so excited about continuing to learn from this experience, I still have mixed emotions.

Honestly, there's a part of me that wishes that my fall internship never had to end, that tour didn't have to end, that my intern family didn't have to part ways and each of us go back to our families so we're all states away from each other now. That part of me was miserable while I was in the same town where my internship took place today because I was there and they weren't, and this part of me focused on that SO much.

Meanwhile, there's another part of me that wishes I never had to leave my friends at school either, because going from doing life with them 8 months out of the year to seeing them 2-3 times for just a day or two at a time in a semester has been rough. That part of me wishes I could combine my internship, my school, and my home all into one.

There's another part of me that is so excited to return in the spring to intern again that it's kind of ridiculous. Okay, it's a lot ridiculous. But I'm really trying to tone it down, promise.

That's where the little bitty other part of me is. This other part of me has been learning since my fall internship ended that there is a time for everything, which means, there's plenty of time to continue learning from past experiences while recognizing that they're over, looking forward to what's to come with excitement, but also learning to be content with where God has me right now.

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." -Philippians 4:11-13 ESV

Even though I'm not specifically facing the same scenarios as Paul, I am in my own sense. While my circumstances are different, I still have the opportunity to learn to be content.

I'm not in TN or Campbellsville for a little while. BUT, I do have a couple of months at home to spend with my family, my church family, and my fellow staffers and kids at the Y, and I get to spend these months pouring into the kids at work and into my family!

I'm not around my CU or Franklin friends as much. BUT, I do have the ability to talk to them as often as we can and to even go see them while also reconnecting with friends here at home.

At the same time, this time I have in between seasons of ministry is a time for me to step back and refocus on Christ. I think it's so ironic, but really it's God's crazy-amazing sense of timing, that I have this time to refocus during this season of advent, leading up to Christmas. There's no better time than now to step back and refocus on Christ, to rediscover the joy, the mercies, and the love that He brings.

So every day for the next 55 days, until I go back to TN for the spring, is a chance for me to choose. Will I choose to continue learning how to be content and fall more in love with God and how He plans everything for our (my) good or will I choose to struggle and lose to my humanness and focus on all of my crazy/all over the place emotions?

Charles Spurgeon says it best when he says, "Remember this, had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine love would have put you there."

There's no other place I need to be right now than where I am.

So I will be content.
I will refocus.
I will wait, patiently.

Here's to the close of one chapter and the excitement of a new one being written, all while waiting in the footnotes of the previous chapter. Because I'm still learning from this past chapter, but I'm not quite ready or able to start the writing of this new chapter.

Some say this waiting game is hard, and it is, but most importantly, it's another part of the Great Adventure! (Hooray for ending with a SCC pun!)

     Love love love these girls! Can I get a Roll Tide? #rollRBP

One of my most favorite pictures all internship!

One last Red Bus on 3!

There are no words! I just love these guys!
I can't wait to see our family grow in the spring with our new interns!

                                         

730 Days Later...

Two years ago today, a giant double decker/mobile thrift store on wheels rolled up on my college campus and ROCKED. MY. WORLD. I had just started college and wasn't quite sure what I wanted to major in or do for the rest of my life, other than serve God, love Him, serve His people, and love His people. I had no idea who Steven Curtis Chapman was, that an organization called Show Hope existed, or that the global orphan crisis was as big a deal as it really is. Man, it's absolutely incredible to look back on these past two years and see what the Lord has done in and through me because of this one day. 

It's because the bus came to my campus. 
It's because Hannah asked me to volunteer for a shift and I ended up spending my whole day hanging out and volunteering with the RBP team.
It's because people like the Chapmans decided to use their God-given platform to advocate for the orphan through the works of Show Hope and to let people be a part of it.
It's because of the incredible creativity of the Show Hope student initiatives team who dreamed up the idea of a double decker mobile thrift store rolling from campus to campus, engaging with college students by hooking them in with a giant Red Bus.
It's because of God's intricate and perfect timing that the bus didn't come a day sooner or later, but came at just the right time for Him to open my eyes to the millions of kiddos who are orphans, just like how I was a spiritual orphan for so long.

All it took for me was this one day. This one day that happened 730 days ago changed my world forever. Being where I am now, chilling in a hotel in Arkansas, where I'll wake up and head to school #18 in state #4 of the RBP Fall '14 tour, I couldn't imagine getting here without those few hours spent two years ago. It's INSANE how God uses one moment to start a fire that rages on inside our hearts for years to come. The "advocating for orphan care/learning about the plight of orphans" fire in my heart has only grown since that day and this internship has continued adding fuel to my fire.

I'm so thankful the fire He started that day led me to Show Hope and the Red Bus Project.
To the hundreds of college students I've met over the past month who have walked past a tent and stuck around when asked "Have you heard of the Red Bus Project?"
To the dozens of Lindsey's and Terra's and Stephanie's I've met who have asked "What more can I do?"
To a tour team who is like a family now more than ever, who unconditionally loves one another and the students we meet everyday.
To a cause that is not just near and dear to the heart of our Lord and Savior, but to a cause that will never leave my heart.

God can do a lot in 730 days. Shoot, God can do a lot in 730 seconds. I firmly believe we all have that something, that one thing, that one moment (or multiple moments), where God just turns our world upside down and opens our eyes to something we've never seen before. Praise Him that He does though, because this crazy ride called life wouldn't be the same without the driver's seat being occupied by Him.

So here I am, 730 days after the Red Bus Project came to little bitty Campbellsville University in the middle of nowhere KY on their second tour ever, hoping to engage with college students about the global orphan crisis and getting them excited about the opportunities they have to get involved and make the difference in the lives of the orphans.

Well, they wrecked one girl for sure, and boy, am I glad they did.

Throwback to the first time I ever saw the bus!

First RBP staff shirt!

Fast forward 700 days to leaving for the first stop on tour - this time, as an RBP INTERN!

First full day of tour, 702 days after volunteering! Rock on RBP!
I LOVE being on tour with some of these AH-MAZING people!

With One Voice

Y'all.

I'm currently sitting in hotel room in Oxford, Mississippi. Not because I'm on vacation or because I transferred, but because tomorrow, I get to spend the day engaging with college students about orphan care, how they can get involved in orphan care advocacy, and the reality of the orphan crisis with the best team ever, brought to you by the Red Bus Project. In fact, over the course of the next five weeks (4 consecutively), we'll be rolling up to a different college campus every day Monday-Friday, doing the same thing every day. That's 20 schools, hundreds of miles, thousands of college students, and a countless number of conversations that include the numbers 18, 140 million, and 7:1 in the next four weeks!

This. Is. My. Dream. Nowhere else can I spend hours upon hours each day talking to college students about these precious orphaned kiddos, telling them (the college students) that they can do something about it!

The crazy part is that I get to be on this super awesome adventure with some of the coolest people around. Even crazier is that there is probably NO way we would've ever met, had it not been for this internship and God's intricate details and planning.

The thing is, we're all so different and yet, we have similarities. I love that without just one of the team members, we wouldn't be a team. Each and everyone of us brings something different to the table (or to this internship) that is needed. If Becca wasn't here, we wouldn't have someone who can not only take awesome pictures and be our voice on social media, but, though she may be the youngest, steps up and is a leader in the most critical moments. If Myra wasn't here, we wouldn't have someone who can process and logically think through everything that comes our way; we wouldn't have our voice of reason that pulls us back and says "Why?" If Alicia wasn't here, we wouldn't have our "brains" of the operation, our team player who is not afraid to speak her mind and make her ideas known all while being such a perfect example of a servant and will do anything to get the job done. If Kelly Lu wasn't here, we would be missing someone who brings us all back in and says "Guys, let's put our thoughts together!" or "Calm down! It's okay!", the someone who is the glue that holds our team together.

There are so many members to this team-Chris, Stuart, Lance, Will, Shep (our driver, whose real name is Gary but we call him Shep!), Brooke, and Morgan (plus us the interns)-who make this entire operation possible on the road. Not to mention our awesome Show Hope staff back in Franklin, the guys at Kyros, and all of the past interns who have done everything like calming us down and putting our focus back on what's really important.

This internship has showed me just how important community is. Individually, it's hard to get something done, but together, we can accomplish so much! We are all necessary, though we play different roles, to put this thing called the Red Bus Project together and on the road. The body of Christ is the same way! Romams 12:4-5 (NCV) says, "Each of us has a body with many parts, and these parts all have different uses. In the same way, we are many, but in Christ we are all one body. Each one is a part of that body, and each part belongs to all the other parts."

We're not all made to be the eyes, the mouth, the ears, or the hands. Some of us are the legs or the nose or the brain or even the elbow. But without all of those together, we don't have a body (literally and figuratively)!

The past week or so, I've really been struggling to find my role in this, my piece to the puzzle that is Red Bus Project Fall 2014 team. While at our team building day south of Franklin, we participated in various team building exercises, which at the moment were terrifying and frustrating, but looking back are some of the coolest things I've ever done. In those moments, I saw what the rest of my team brought to the table. Everyone stepped in and filled their roles while discovering new things about themselves.

And then there was me.

What in the world was I doing during these activities? I don't even know. What I do know is that while on our walk to the lake on the property, we had a time to talk to God/pray. For me, that turned into me arguing with God, except I wasn't really giving God time to respond (this is why my dad swore I was going to be a lawyer growing up). I was so frustrated because I felt useless that entire day.

What did I accomplish here this morning?
Where does my piece of the puzzle fit into this great, big, ole puzzle known as the Red Bus Project?
Why am I here?

It was in those 5-10 minutes that I kept going on and on. I was sure that I knew just what everyone else was capable of and what gifts they had, but I was stuck. I had no idea what my purpose was in that moment, or for the next few days.

A couple of days ago, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I finally came to understand why I'm here. Why I'm here on this tour, with this team, about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime. I can't really describe it, but I know this passion and this burden for these precious orphaned kiddos is why I'm here; it's what I bring to the table. That and my love of talking (seriously, if you have ANY questions about the Red Bus Project or Show Hope, MESSAGE ME! I want to talk to you!).

We all have something to bring and bring it together. When we come together, we lift a shout of worship to the One we're striving to live for each and every day. In the midst of finding what it is you bring to the table, remember that in all we do, we must glorify Him. On those days when you're lost and confused like I was earlier in the week, yes even in those moments, we come together to worship Him. With one voice.

We come together with a holy purpose

We come together for the highest cause

We speak one language from a heart of worship

Gathered to bring a song to the world

For Your glory

With one voice we will sing

Every tribe and every tongue 

Brings a harmony

With one voice we will bring

Heaven's beautiful melody down to this earth

As we sing to our King

With one voice

"With One Voice" by Steven Curtis Chapman

Four of the best girls and friends I could ever ask for! Thanks God
for bringing us together for this internship!

There are no words to adequately describe how much this team means to me!
And Alicia's face, priceless!

Bus call! Fall 2014 tour, here we come!

I found it very appropriate we kicked off tour as a family
at Union University's family weekend! Shout out to Becca for
this AWESOME shot from the event!

If We're Honest

This past week of work has been incredibly phenomenal! Every single day, I have found a new thing I LOVE about my internship. Especially stuffing envelopes!*

*Seriously, we spent a day stuffing envelopes for Show Hope and it was one of my favorite days of work! Not only did we get to serve Show Hope and the staff, but we got to connect with some rock-star volunteers and see how God connected the dots in all of our lives to bring us to the same dot that is Show Hope! He's SO COOL!

I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. But let's be honest, I've struggled. We all do. We all have our bad days. So this is about one of those bad days and what God is teaching me through it all.

Truth is harder than a lie

The dark seems safer than the light

And everyone has a heart that loves to hide

I'm a mess and so are you

We've built walls nobody can get through

Yeah, it may be hard, but the best thing we could ever do, ever do

Bring your brokenness, and I'll bring mine

'Cause love and heal what hurt divides

And mercy's waiting on the other side

If we're honest

(If We're Honest by Francesca Battistelli)

Let's admit it, we all have those moments.

Moments where we feel like everything's falling apart. Moments that we don't want to share with others.

We're bruised.
We're broken.
We're messed up.

For some reason, in today's world, we feel like we have to put a mask on the minute we walk into a room and PRETEND everything's okay, when really, it's not. At all.

Maybe the kids are running all over the place, maybe you got laid off from your job of x number of years, maybe you ran out of gas during rush hour traffic earlier that day, maybe you were extremely lonely/homesick the night before and spent hours crying. And yet, the minute you walk into a room and the famous question "Hey! How are you?" is asked, you put on your happy face and say "Great!" "Fine!" "Things are going well!"

Why?

Why do we try and act like we've got our lives together and that everything is perfect? We shouldn't. I shouldn't, but I do. I believe most think that if they don't pretend like they've got everything together, they look bad. It makes us look like we're weak. We build up walls that we don't want anyone to get through, and when people get closer to climbing over that wall, we build it up even more.

As a Christian, this is something I've struggled with for a long time. Until recently, I firmly believed I had to have my life together every time I walked into my church or into a community of my brothers and sisters or into a group of nonbelievers. If not, it made my witness that much weaker. I mean, how could I tell someone the good news of the Gospel if I couldn't even keep my stuff together?

Did you know there's some Bible verses about how in our weakness, Christ's power is made perfect? In US?

'But he said to me, "My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you." So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ's power can live in me. For this reason I am happy when I have weaknesses, insults, hard times, sufferings, and all kinds of troubles for Christ. Because when I am weak, then I am truly strong.' -2 Corinthians 2:9-10 NCV

This week has taught me so much about being honest and vulnerable. Out of all the people in the world, our brothers and sisters in Christ are the ones we should be able to go to immediately and be COMPLETELY honest with them. We shouldn't hide anything from them. We can stop pretending and going after our next Oscar for "Best Actor/Actress".

A couple of nights ago, when I was super lonely, I had to call one of my best friends and my parents. I tried to keep it all together and act like it was all good, but let's be honest, it didn't happen. God broke me down and showed me that He has placed people in my life that I can go to and be completely vulnerable with them, who can pray for me, and who can encourage me. When we try and keep it all together when we're not, we're hindering God from working in our lives and we're putting our pride before Him. (Pride before the fall...Adam and Eve...yeah, that one didn't end so well.)

To make things even better, people I met a month ago when I moved to good ole Franklin were able to break through my walls and see what was going on. I thought I had my own version of the Great Wall of China built around my heart, but turns out, it was just the little pig's straw house that can be blown down with a simple sneeze (or a question of what's really going on, in my case).

I say all of that to say, the lesson of this week: be honest. Quit letting yourself believe that you have everything together and that no one cares to hear about your life when things aren't going the way you want. People do. Your brothers and your sisters in Christ genuinely care about you and want to know how they can be praying for or encouraging you. They're not asking or offering to come hang out out of obligation, but out of love.

Jesus didn't go to the cross because He felt it was an obligation. (He even prayed for God to "take this cup from me"!) No, Jesus died for us out of love. Our job is to reflect that love and share His truth with others.

So be real.
Be honest.
Be vulnerable.

Is it uncomfortable? Absolutely. But the end results of feeling loved and encouraged far outweigh the initial awkwardness.

Jefferson Bethke said it best (in my opinion), when he said, "The church is not a museum for good people, it's a hospital for the broken." Be broken and go to God and others looking for encouragement and to be fixed. God is the ultimate healer of our brokenness, but He has some great nurses that He places in our lives along the way who can apply ice or a Band-Aid when needed.

Monday we took a trip to CPA in Nashville to be a part of their first Movement Club meeting of the year! We love the Movement Club and seeing high school students get involved in orphan care!

Team trip to Kyros Entertainment for training!

Just some late night baking adventures with Austin to close out the week!

He Knows My Name

So much has happened in the last week and a half that I don't even know where to begin!

Things are moving swiftly here at the Red Bus Project and we're gearing up for our first run of the bus that's happening this Saturday! Not next Saturday, not three weeks from now when we hit the road, but THIS Saturday. As in, 3 days from now. Holy cow! Is this real life?!

It blows my mind to think that this time two weeks ago, even thinking about setting up and running the bus seemed like a crazy idea because it seemed so far off. And now, here we are! Last Wednesday, we received our official job titles/descriptions for the semester, and it was my favorite day of work ever (up to that point-working in our storage unit/on the bus has turned into my favorite work days!). We all have settled into our roles pretty well and we are continuing to learn more about each other and how we work together as a team each day.

With the announcement of job titles, like any big announcement, it's hard not to get too caught up in that. Just because I now have a title at the Red Bus Project doesn't meant that I let that define me. Let me tell ya, that was a struggle for me. My official title is the connections intern, which means I get to do a bunch of awesome stuff both in the office and out on the road! When we're out on the road, I get to connect with volunteers, train them, and engage with students about how they can get further involved in the orphan crisis, along with serving my team! It's literally my dream job (my dad says I got the "gift of gab" from my mom, especially when it comes to talking about something I'm so passionate about, so this tour is going to be a BLAST!). At the same time, being the connections intern isn't all that I am. We all have an idea of one another's roles so we can step in and help when needed, but more importantly, we all are children of God.

I've found in the last week and a half that God has had to remind me of that a lot, several times a day in fact. I can get so caught up in what's going on in my life and all that I've done that I forget who really made it all happen. I wouldn't be here at Show Hope if it weren't for God and His plan for my life. Two years ago, this internship and this organization wasn't even on my radar. If you told me in high school I would be where I am now, I would've thought you were insane (after of course asking what in the world the Red Bus Project was).

That's one of the many crazy/awesome things about God. He doesn't need us. He doesn't need us to plan out our lives and expect them to happen like we want. But He chooses to use us and He chooses to guide our path every single step of the way, from point A to point B, and everywhere in between. We are His. I am His. You are His. That's what needs to define us. Not just now, not just later on, but every single day.

God knows our names. Every single one of us, even the over 140 million waiting children around the world who don't have a mom or a dad to love them, they have a name too. We may not know it, but God does. He knew each of our names before we were even born on this earth. I'm so thankful He does, and not just that He knows my name, but that He knows all of our names, especially those precious kiddos who may not have an identity in anyone else's eyes but God's. We all have identities, we all have something that makes us who we are. It's a question of whether or not we choose to let Him define us, or if we let ourselves define us.

What will you choose today? Will you choose to let your biggest accomplishment define you? What about your role in your family or that job promotion or that title you have at church? What if you chose to let God define you? What if you chose to remind yourself daily that He knows your name?

Francesca Battistelli wrote and recently released a song called "He Knows My Name". The second verse of the song has become like a motto for me as I go into these next weeks as an intern. I've learned in the last couple of weeks, along with letting God define me and letting Him remind me that He knows my name, that I'm not meant to stay quiet. I'm supposed to speak up for the waiting children around the world. If I don't, if these interns (both past, present, and future), if the Show Hope staff and other staff at other organizations that do the same work don't, then who will? It's because of God that I can do that. He gives me the strength every day to push forward and keep doing the work I'm doing that He has set before me.

"I'm not meant to just stay quiet

I'm meant to be a lion

I'll roar beyond a song

With every moment that I've got

True to who You are

You saw my heart

And made

Something out of nothing"

Job title reveal day! We were just slightly giddy! :)

Connections intern!

Surprise day off means a surprise trip back to CU to see my friends! So thankful for these girls and their constant prayers, love, and encouragement!

Like A Sponge

How do you sum up the first week of an internship with the Red Bus Project? Here's what I would say:

-Incredible

-Life changing

-A ridiculous amount of fun

-A blessing

-Humbling

My first week with the Red Bus Project was all of those things, and so much more. We spent every morning getting to know each other on the team and then dove into the workings and history of Show Hope/the Red Bus Project, with a few surprises along the way. It's so cool to finally begin to understand how an organization that you have followed for so many years works and to meet the people who make it all happen. 

Let me be the first to tell you, the staff at Show Hope are INCREDIBLE. (I'm not just saying that because I work there, they truly are just that.) The smiling faces you see when you look up the staff on Show Hope's website are exactly the people you see in the office every single day. From the very beginning, this staff made me feel right at home in a place that I didn't know would turn into home. The first day I walked in, I was welcomed with nothing but genuine smiles and warm hugs. Over the past five days, I've been blessed to get to know some of the staff better and they've already invested so much into us, the interns. They're family.

Not only are the Show Hope staff incredible people, but they're also incredible teachers. I literally was a sponge the entire first week, soaking in every little detail I could that the staff told me. I'm usually a quiet person to begin with, but there were days where I probably said no more than fifteen words because I sat there listening. It's not that I was being rude or didn't want to talk, but how can you when all you want to do is listen and learn from these people who have the same passion as you? It's like going to your favorite artist's concert and choosing to talk on your cell phone the entire time. No! You wouldn't want to miss that concert for the world, like how I tried to not miss a single word. I wish so badly that I had recorded everything that was said this week because it was such a learning experience. It's not just our boss who is teaching us, but it's every single staff member there. I've learned so much already, from the orphan crisis itself to the story behind Show Hope to how the Red Bus Project became what is today. It's not only learning these things, but there's also moments where the staff is pouring into us, asking us about who we are and sharing with us different things about their lives. They're not just people who work for Show Hope with huge hearts for orphans, they're teachers and mentors.

So, the first week, in a nutshell, was awesome. It was very sponge-like (which is very appropriate since I'm a blonde) and a huge, continuous learning moment, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't believe week 1 is already over, but I'm so thankful for some team/family bonding in Nashville today and that I get to work with these lovely ladies and gents every day! Here's to great week one and an even better week two! I'm completely surrendering this week to the Lord and can't wait to see what He has in store!

Megan, the lovely summer intern, left us some cute Welcome notes!

You were made for this! -Megan
What an encouragement to read this as soon as we walked into the office!

One of our first of many family pictures!

Found My Way Back to Tennessee

Many people think Disney World is the most magical place on Earth. Me? I think Tennessee is the most magical place on Earth. I joke with my family that I'm a Tennessee girl trapped in Kentucky, and there's nothing wrong with that, except that I just really love Tennessee and will find any/every excuse to go to Tennessee. With that being said, I am so beyond blessed to be able to live in one of my favorite small towns for the semester and intern with one of my most favorite organizations ever (there's a lot of favorites here)!

This semester, I have been blessed beyond words to live in Franklin, TN and intern with the Red Bus Project, the college initiative of Show Hope. Show Hope is a nonprofit, faith based organization that cares for orphans around the world. There are many different ways Show Hope does all of that (ex. through the awarding of adoption aid grants, special care centers in China, orphan care advocacy, etc.), including through student initiatives (aka the Red Bus Project and the Movement Club), which is where you can find me and a lovely group of RBP interns! From the very beginning, Steven Curtis Chapman and Mary Beth Chapman (founders and Vice President/President (respectively) of Show Hope) recognized the heart of students when it came to orphan care. With the spark lit by their eldest biological daughter, Emily, the Chapmans went on to adopt three precious little girls from China. After their first adoption, the Chapmans saw first hand how many orphans were left without forever families because of the financial barrier that comes with adoption. With that in mind, the Chapmans created Shaohannah's Hope, which eventually became Show Hope, to help families overcome that financial barrier that keeps so many prospective adoptive families from actually adopting and to bring awareness to the global orphan crisis.

Now, you may be asking, what's the big deal with caring for the nearly 140 million orphans around the world (they're not just around the world; there's also orphans here in the United States)? You see, as Christians, we are all called to care for orphans. James 1:27 (NLT) specifically states that "pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans...". Caring for orphans can look different for everyone. For some it may be to set aside daily or weekly prayer time for the millions of orphans around the world. For others, it may mean to become orphan care advocates and raise funds on their own to give to organizations like Show Hope. For others, it may mean starting a Movement Club at your high school or shopping on the Red Bus when it sets up on your college campus for the day. Yet, for others, it may mean to actually adopt. God has a different and very specific plan for each and every one of us and I absolutely love that He has orchestrated it all to happen as He wants. Someone may not have the slightest idea as to how they are supposed to care for orphans and you know what? That's okay. We don't always have everything figured out. Praise God that He does and that He reveals things to us in His perfect timing. Not a minute sooner, not a minute later.

I say all of that to say, for me personally, God's plan for me to care for orphans meant not living on my college campus for a semester and moving to Franklin, TN instead, taking a couple of online classes plus the credit hours for my internship to maintain a full-time student status at my college, and to actually work for Show Hope by interning with the Red Bus Project. If someone had told me a year or two ago that I would be here in Franklin, I would've thought that person was crazy. No where on my radar was a semester like this, a semester that I would surrender to the Lord and His calling for me to care for orphans in this way. There was nothing ever in my mind that made me think that I would be spending a semester engaging students in caring for orphans by traveling across the country in a double-decker, mobile-thrift-store-sellin', British bus for over a month with people that I just met when I moved down here. As a planner/borderline OCD kind of person, this was the exact opposite of where I planned to be this semester. In fact, there were a lot of doubts and what if scenarios that went through my (and other people's) minds throughout this whole process. Every time that happened though, the Lord was sovereign in providing me with reassurance that this is exactly where He wanted me to be for this season of my life. 

My prayer is that this semester would open the other interns' and my eyes to the reality of the orphan crisis and to the reality that there is something to be done about it, that we would engage with college (and potentially high school) students to make them aware of what they can do, and most importantly, that God would be glorified in everything that we do. The Bible says that God is the father to the fatherless, and He is our heavenly father. In fact, as Christians, we were all spiritual orphans before being adopted into His family because of His love and the simple fact that that was pleasing to Him. It's so cool to think of how mighty and powerful our God is while at the same time, He knows each and every one of us, has adopted us into His forever family, and has a plan for each of the literal orphans around the world. Please join me as I embark on this journey to care for orphans and engage with students, all while discerning what the Lord would have me do with orphan care after this internship is said and done.

PS If you have any questions, or want more information about Show Hope or the Red Bus Project, please check out their websites: http://www.showhope.org/ and http://www.redbusproject.org/